A Catholic Girl
(A brief autobiography)
I was raised in a convent, with nuns as my teachers,
And lots of monsignors and priests as my preachers.
I am NOT amused to have my faith made sport of
For I'm a Good Catholic Girl ... (er … well … sort of),
My life is a penance to work out on Earth,
With no room for romps, for amusements or mirth,
I don't go to bars or wear black patent shoes
That reflect my undies, don't swear or drink booze.
I'm prim and I'm proper, in fact, I'm a saint
(And I'll kill anybuddy who sez that I ain't!)
I'll bet some carouse lots, from Mondays to Mondays,
And dally in sin, and I bet that on Sundays
They don't go to mass or get in holy ruts
And they think that us Catholic Girls are all nuts.
Easy for them to go dissing the Pope
And saying a Catholic Girl is a dope
Who gives up her cookies, (no, I mean for Lent),
While the likes of these others just never repent
But are free to sin freely and never confess it,
Or beg for a priest to forgive and God bless it -
They most likely have lots of men on a string,
And go out each night on a wild, carefree fling!
Life, for such people's a mad, joyous whirl,
Without all the guilt of a Catholic Girl -
But a Catholic Girl
Knows if she's living WELL
And ENJOYING her life,
She will go straight to Hell!