Lent is fast approaching:

A Catholic Girl

by me,

Mary

(A brief autobiography)

I was raised in a convent, with nuns as my teachers,

And lots of monsignors and priests as my preachers.

I am NOT amused to have my faith made sport of

For I'm a Good Catholic Girl ... (er … well … sort of),

My life is a penance to work out on Earth,

With no room for romps, for amusements or mirth,

I don't go to bars or wear black patent shoes

That reflect my undies, don't swear or drink booze.

I'm prim and I'm proper, in fact, I'm a saint

(And I'll kill anybuddy who sez that I ain't!)

I'll bet some carouse lots, from Mondays to Mondays,

And dally in sin, and I bet that on Sundays

They don't go to mass or get in holy ruts

And they think that us Catholic Girls are all nuts.

Easy for them to go dissing the Pope

And saying a Catholic Girl is a dope

Who gives up her cookies, (no, I mean for Lent),

While the likes of these others just never repent

But are free to sin freely and never confess it,

Or beg for a priest to forgive and God bless it -

They most likely have lots of men on a string,

And go out each night on a wild, carefree fling!

Life, for such people's a mad, joyous whirl,

Without all the guilt of a Catholic Girl -

But a Catholic Girl 

Knows if she's living WELL

And ENJOYING her life,

She will go straight to Hell!