Time for some (more) silly stuff:

Veggie-Table Manners

Do not stare at potato eyes,
Or, if you do - apologize!
And when you butter up corn, dear,
No need to whisper in its ear.
Don't try to squeeze some whites or yolk
From an eggplant. Do not poke
A pickled pepper. Don't squish squash,
And please do not spear mint, by gosh!
Do not pinch herbs. Do not split peas.
Don't overdress your salad, please,
Just do good veggie-deeds all day,
And for your wilted lettuce pray.